Isn't It Neat News

What Th-?! They'll Make A Movie About ANYTHING!

2009-10-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT MOVIE A GO;

"MR. WENDAL" ORIENTED PLOT SUSPECTED

In a bold move sure garner much attention, those crazies in Hollywood have commissioned a script to tell the story of the popular early nineties' alternative hip hop group Arrested Development's rise and subsequent fall to and from fame. Fans of the group will be pleased to know that their most popular song, "Mr. Wendal" will be the subject in which the plot will revolve around. "Tennessee" is also suspected to be explained in a subplot.

Wait, what?

Oh, no WAY! Boy, I need to stop drinking so early. The show! It's the show. A movie's been rumored for the past few years, but balls was called, and it didn't happen. Now, it seems, it's going forward finally. Which is good, for it was an excessively hilarious series. From Dark Horizons, the best real movie website on the...uh...web...

[Series creator Mitchell] Hurwitz previously said that he wouldn't start writing a film unless all the main actors from the acclaimed cult hit Fox TV series were committed to returning.
Now that everyone's onboard, work has begun on the scripts which will see more bizarre encounters for the eccentric, spoiled Bluth clan.

Yaaay! Man, this whoops the poop out of that previous post, huh? Truly one of the greatest shows and casts in television history along Seinfeld, Cheers and the short-lived series Meego. Balki as an alien? Sign me up! Anyhow. If you haven't seen "Arrested Development" much or at all, I highly recommend doing so tootsweet! You will be hard pressed to discover anything negative about it, unless, of course, you are an imbecile. I kid. That's harsh. There's probably some good folk out there who don't care for the show, it certainly wasn't popular enough for the usually brilliant Fox Network to keep on the air. Then again, the most popular thing on TV now and for the past seven years has been "American Idol" and I can't even finish this post now because of that fact.

Jesus Christ.

Why?! Oh, that's right. Money. A lot of money.

2009-10-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

Transformers 3 Gets Release Date; Proverbial Dead Horse Of Overkill Beaten Mercilessly

Damn. I suppose it was bound to happen, but it COULD'VE stopped at two. Just like Wilt Chamberlain COULD'VE stopped at nineteen-thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine loving bedmates, but why would he? From Michael Bay's accidentally hilariously named "The Official Shoot For The Edit Forum":

Well its official: We have a great Transformers 3 story. The release date is now July 1st 2011. Not 2012.

Today is Day One. This morning started with an ILM meeting for five hours in San Francisco. Currently I'm flying with writer Ehren Kruger to Rhode Island to talk to Hasbro about new characters.

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Pain and Gain is right after shooting of Trans 3.

Michael

Well, at least he tries to have a sense of humor about it. Maybe? In all actuality, it was an intern or the dude who does Bay's Twittering who came up with that paragraph about Megan Fox. Unless Bay was just looking at which ever medication bottle he was craddling at the time and tossed that all on his forum. The ol' Official Shoot For The Edit hangout! A message board sure to be devoid of ego-feeding idol worship and grammatical errors!

Criminy, "Transformers 3". Already. The second one was better than the first one, but that's like saying the second bullet in your face hurt a little less than the first one. Probably due to the nerve damage. And enough with Megan Fox. The single movie she's done on her own without the draw of shiny metal objects changing forms and the Army and Shia LeBooze, "Jennifer's Body," did about as well as anyone expected it to: horridly, and splendidly so! I know folks think she's the bee's knees, but I personally think bee's have really uninviting looking knees, and are known to fill with water often. However, "Transformers 3: Inevitably Bad Subtitle" is sure to bring in a poop ton of money, and I'll be one of the mindless drones seeing it in hopes of catching a glimpse of fully formed, decipherable action! Although, that would disrupt the flow of the unseeable blurry dark grey things plowing into buildings and each other. Who the hell wants that?

BEHOLD.

2009-09-28T19:22:00.000-07:00

Could any other blog's first post possibly compete with the sheer awesomeness of this one's? It's incredibly doubtful, and not only that, but for the record, that IS indeed the correct way to spell the personal possessive form of the word "one." Holy farkin' sheep! A bad ass/rare ass picture of a shark singing with all its heart and mouth, and a grammar lesson. Neewhaw! Off to a good start. It can, of course, only get much, much worse from here. Prepare thyselves.

Chances are that a lot of the sheep you're going to read about here will be read about elsewhere, but F those other blogs. In fact, let's not even really consider this a blog. I won't even mention that word from here on out. I don't care for it. I never have. That and the term slippery slope. Anyhow, most other places tend to stick to one specific kind of interest, like cooking or shoes or porn, so I suppose I should do that for this place. Truth be told, however, I'd kind of like to shotgun approach this sumbitch. Just go after anything that catches my attention. There will be the obligatory photoshopped pictures and such, but for the low, low price of NOTHING, I'll toss in some homegrown cartoons every now and then. Hopefully whatever the hell inspires me to digitally diarrhea all over the internet will lead to your laughter. Actually, even a smirk will do, I don't need to go for a full laugh. I ain't greedy.