Why?! Oh, that's right. Money. A lot of money.

Transformers 3 Gets Release Date; Proverbial Dead Horse Of Overkill Beaten Mercilessly

Damn. I suppose it was bound to happen, but it COULD'VE stopped at two. Just like Wilt Chamberlain COULD'VE stopped at nineteen-thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine loving bedmates, but why would he? From Michael Bay's accidentally hilariously named "The Official Shoot For The Edit Forum":

Well its official: We have a great Transformers 3 story. The release date is now July 1st 2011. Not 2012.

Today is Day One. This morning started with an ILM meeting for five hours in San Francisco. Currently I'm flying with writer Ehren Kruger to Rhode Island to talk to Hasbro about new characters.

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Pain and Gain is right after shooting of Trans 3.

Michael

Well, at least he tries to have a sense of humor about it. Maybe? In all actuality, it was an intern or the dude who does Bay's Twittering who came up with that paragraph about Megan Fox. Unless Bay was just looking at which ever medication bottle he was craddling at the time and tossed that all on his forum. The ol' Official Shoot For The Edit hangout! A message board sure to be devoid of ego-feeding idol worship and grammatical errors!

Criminy, "Transformers 3". Already. The second one was better than the first one, but that's like saying the second bullet in your face hurt a little less than the first one. Probably due to the nerve damage. And enough with Megan Fox. The single movie she's done on her own without the draw of shiny metal objects changing forms and the Army and Shia LeBooze, "Jennifer's Body," did about as well as anyone expected it to: horridly, and splendidly so! I know folks think she's the bee's knees, but I personally think bee's have really uninviting looking knees, and are known to fill with water often. However, "Transformers 3: Inevitably Bad Subtitle" is sure to bring in a poop ton of money, and I'll be one of the mindless drones seeing it in hopes of catching a glimpse of fully formed, decipherable action! Although, that would disrupt the flow of the unseeable blurry dark grey things plowing into buildings and each other. Who the hell wants that?